Blue Eyes and White Lies

A writer, lover, thinker, and midwestern, book-loving sexpot.

Maybe We’re All a Little Pansexual

11 Comments

So I’m pretty sure I’m pansexual. I’ve honestly thought about being with any type of person and one’s sexuality or gender identity doesn’t influence whether or not I’m sexually attracted to someone. What I mean is I could sleep with anyone with any parts they have. Of course, when it comes to a relationship, I am attracted to masculinity. I like feeling like a little girl, like a princess, like I’m protected. So for there to be a relationship, the person would have to display some masculine qualities. But there are other times when I’m attracted to the feminine, such a woman’s scent and the feel of someone’s skin.

And let’s make one thing clear: being a “man” or a “woman” is gender, and gender is not the same as one’s sex. Sex is biological, gender is not. So when I refer to “man” or “woman” I mean those qualities usually embraced by people who identify with those genders .

I wonder sometimes if everyone is pansexual. I tend to believe that anyone can fall in love with anyone else, it’s just that from a young age we’ve set up certain barriers. For some, these barriers are very strong and for others it’s not. When I first thought of being with a man who identified as a woman, I didn’t think I could do it. It was too much. But the more I thought about it openly, the more appealing it became. It wasn’t scary anymore, and I don’t think it should be. Homosexuality has almost become normal in a way and now it’s the transgendered who are just outside what we consider the norm, but hopefully that will change.

Anyway, just some thoughts I had. I’m not trying to solidify gender stereotypes here, I’m just trying to be descriptive and I hope this makes sense. I also don’t want to offend anyone, so my thoughts are wrong, please let me know.

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Author: Dallas Kelly

I love telling stories and interacting with new people.

11 thoughts on “Maybe We’re All a Little Pansexual

  1. I personally am bisexual but maybe you do have a point of all of us being pansexual in a sense.

  2. I am also bisexual but I have found myself thinking the same thing: that there often seem to be barriers. And they can be very strong. I think if you’re a man in a certain environment, there might be a lot to lose if you’re coming out as gay. So why would you. For women it seems easier in a way, but on the other hand there’s lots of negative stereotypes, men who think they could ‘cure’ you is only one of them. So it would be interesting to see how people would describe themselves if these barriers were not there! I think it’s courageous of you to find out for yourself how you feel.

  3. Hagbard Celine (Illuminatus Trilogy) thought everybody was pan-sexual too. I’m don’t feel that way, but then why did you apologise at the end of your post? Why should you need to excuse yourself for feeling that way?

    • Being pansexual can imply that sexuality is a choice, which is what the right-wing conservatives would have you believe. This is not the case. My sexuality is primarily straight. In other words, I’m a cis-gendered straight female, but I identify with pansexuality in that I am attracted to certain gender types — for example, the masculine gender type. However, if I met a biologically female woman who identified as a man, I believe I’d have no problem being in a relationship with that person.

      I simply did not want to offend anyone.

  4. Just for the record, the language you’re using to talk about trans* people is outdated–“a man who identifies as a woman” is called a trans* woman or just a woman. Likewise, “a biologically female woman who identifies as a man” is a trans* man, or just a man–not a woman in any way, even “biologically.” They are the gender they identify as, not the gender the doctor labelled them when they were born. 🙂 Congrats of the progress you’ve made so far on your journey to self-discovery, and best of luck in the future!

  5. Thank you for checking out my post (Slutty Brownies). I appreciate it 🙂

    I really like your writing… Comes across very easy and natural. I enjoy reading you. Its interesting and provocative. Thanks for finding me because now I’ve found you.

    Zoe

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