Desire

It’s been so long now. Too long. I want it.

Tell me a story?

I’m bored. Does someone wanna tell me a story? 🙂

Brief Update & Pic

I’ve been a little down that last couple weeks because I’ve realized that I’m going to have to start my novel completely from scratch. I was having trouble getting the idea to work as one cohesive piece, so I began rethinking it. Well, the more I did that, the more I realized what I was doing now just won’t work. This sucks. But it’s been a good learning experience. Now I’m just trying to get my thoughts in order so I know where to start.

Since this post is boring, I thought I’d spice it up with a picture of one of my girl crushes: Jennifer Fucking Lawrence.

Choosing a Perspective

One of the things I have difficulty deciding on is whether or not to write in first person or third person. I love the first person voice. It can be personal and expressive. A narrator can often take a mundane story and turn it into something special. But it’s not easy to do. Especially if you’re writing a supernatural mystery-thriller-romance like yours truly.

After getting pretty far into my novel, I’ve realized that the first person voice just isn’t going to work. I love it, and I wish I could keep it, but I’ve decided my vision is more important and to fulfill my vision, I simply must write in third person. This will free me up to follow different characters and create a better story. It sucks that I have to rewrite all that I’ve written, but I think it’s worth it. I’m looking at it like a trial run, and now the real race begins.

But what about you, friends and patriots? What perspective do you like to use when writing? How does that affect your work?

Gaining Exposure

I’m going to be spending a lot of time editing, rewriting, and honing my current novel. I’m going to pay for a good cover design. In short, I’ll be spending a lot of time editing and designing the best book that I can. Since I want exposure, I’ll be releasing it for free, which brings me to my question for any of you out there.

Is it too much for me to ask those who download my novel to give it a review or a recommendation on their blog? My vision is this: If someone downloads it, they give it a short review. It can be good or bad — as long as it’s honest. For those who don’t want to review it, but liked it, perhaps they could recommend it? That would be the only payment I need.

I don’t want to sound selfish, so please let me know if I’m coming off that way. It was just a thought I had, and to me it sounds like a good one.

What’s your favorite position?

Mine is under the covers and in my underwear.

Of course, I’m talking about reading. Right now, there weather is getting warmer, but one of my favorite things to do when there’s snow and cold, is to get my favorite book and slide under some clean, cool sheets. And you can’t be fully clothed under sheets. Trust, me I’ve tried and it’s terrible.

What’s strange is I don’t mind sleeping nude, but while reading I just can’t do it. So I’m usually in shorts and a tank top, but something comfortable. And I have to have wine or hot chocolate. There’s just something about books that makes me feel nostalgic, romantic even. I love it. And I love those days I can spend under the covers with just me and a hardcover.

It’s got me all excited. I think I’ll go do just that right now.

An Unsure Spiritualist

I’m not a religious person, but I’m very spiritual. I like the message of Jesus, but as far as him being God, I really don’t know. I think there’s something ethereal that connects us and moves the universe, and that’s what I call God. I don’t believe in Heaven or Hell. Perhaps it exists, but I can’t live my life assuming that it does. I pray sometimes and I hope whatever is bigger than me hears it, but I’m dubious anyone or anything does.

I guess Sunday just got me thinking about life and religion and God. I don’t go to church, but I’ve been invited plenty of times. It’s just not something I’m interested in. I used to go to youth group in middle school and high school, but most of the time there was some boy I liked or I just went to hang out with my friends. Anymore, I don’t have much in common with churchgoers, so it’s not as valuable to me.

One thing is certain, though. I try to accept anyone’s beliefs, as long as they don’t harm others. You can be an atheist or a Christian, Muslim or a Buddhist, and feel safe around me. I try not to judge or try to convince anyone that my way is right. Shit, I don’t even know if I’m right. But I hope I am. And that’s one of things I pray about.

Memory

His scent lingered on my skin. I held my hand to my nose and breathed him in. Burning candles were the only remains of our second date. That, and of course, that smell. Thick and strong, like flesh and iron and blood. Raw. Visceral. I closed my eyes and thought of him, letting my imagination take care of the rest.

Maybe We’re All a Little Pansexual

So I’m pretty sure I’m pansexual. I’ve honestly thought about being with any type of person and one’s sexuality or gender identity doesn’t influence whether or not I’m sexually attracted to someone. What I mean is I could sleep with anyone with any parts they have. Of course, when it comes to a relationship, I am attracted to masculinity. I like feeling like a little girl, like a princess, like I’m protected. So for there to be a relationship, the person would have to display some masculine qualities. But there are other times when I’m attracted to the feminine, such a woman’s scent and the feel of someone’s skin.

And let’s make one thing clear: being a “man” or a “woman” is gender, and gender is not the same as one’s sex. Sex is biological, gender is not. So when I refer to “man” or “woman” I mean those qualities usually embraced by people who identify with those genders .

I wonder sometimes if everyone is pansexual. I tend to believe that anyone can fall in love with anyone else, it’s just that from a young age we’ve set up certain barriers. For some, these barriers are very strong and for others it’s not. When I first thought of being with a man who identified as a woman, I didn’t think I could do it. It was too much. But the more I thought about it openly, the more appealing it became. It wasn’t scary anymore, and I don’t think it should be. Homosexuality has almost become normal in a way and now it’s the transgendered who are just outside what we consider the norm, but hopefully that will change.

Anyway, just some thoughts I had. I’m not trying to solidify gender stereotypes here, I’m just trying to be descriptive and I hope this makes sense. I also don’t want to offend anyone, so my thoughts are wrong, please let me know.

Incorporating Unique Mythology

I’ve been working on my novel off and on for the past few months. It’s just about 30,000 words, so the pace has been pretty slow, but I’m trying to spend as much time as I can developing a great story. I can say that it’s a supernatural thriller and it’s rather unique. Sure there are vampires and ghouls like most supernatural thrillers, but I’m trying to go into some new territory and incorporate some mythology that isn’t quite as mainstream. Here is one of my inspirations from Deviant Artist raiu-alive.

I can’t wait to get this book up on the Amazon store, but I’m trying to take my time and deliver something with as much high quality as possible. And good news friends! I’m going to be releasing it for FREE!!